An expert weighs in on key strategies to help students prepare for — and excel at — important standardized exams such as the SAT and ACT

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

My Own Battle with Test Anxiety

My journey from an average SAT scorer to achieving a perfect score and eventually founding Prep Expert has been both challenging and enlightening. Along this path, one of the most significant hurdles I faced was test anxiety — a common issue that many students encounter. Overcoming this barrier not only transformed my approach to standardized exams but also reshaped my perspective on learning and success.

Like many students, I experienced intense pressure when it came to standardized testing. The fear of underperforming or not meeting my own expectations led to a cycle of stress and anxiety, which, ironically, hindered my ability to perform well. Recognizing this pattern was the first step toward overcoming it.

Acknowledging that test anxiety was more than just nerves — it was a significant obstacle to my success — was crucial. I realized that to change my scores, I first needed to change my approach to testing, which included managing my anxiety.

I learned that conquering test anxiety required a comprehensive strategy, focusing not only on studying the material but also on enhancing my overall wellbeing and test-taking skills.

Actionable Strategies for High School Students

Foster Efficient Study Habits

Efficient study habits form the foundation of test preparation. I discovered the power of targeted practice and the importance of understanding the exam format. Utilizing official practice questions produced by the test creator and avoiding generic strategies not tailored to the test were game-changers. These practices ensure that your study sessions are both effective and reflective of the actual exam conditions.

Transform Your Approach to Learning

Beyond studying smarter, transforming your approach to learning involves embracing mistakes as learning opportunities. Keeping an “insight notebook” to jot down errors and revisiting them will help you solidify your understanding and adjust your strategies accordingly.

Enhance Your Physical and Brain Health

The connection between physical health and cognitive performance cannot be overstated. Regular exercise and a healthy diet play a crucial role in managing stress and improving brain function. During your test preparation, incorporate daily physical activity to reduce anxiety and enhance focus.

Manage Technological Distractions

In today’s digital age, smartphones and social media can significantly distract from study time. Learn to turn off technology while studying so you can concentrate fully on the task at hand, reducing stress and improving your study efficiency.

Build Self-Motivation

Self-motivation is perhaps the most crucial element in overcoming test anxiety. For me, focusing on my “why” — the reasons behind my goal of acing the SAT (or any standardized test) — provided the drive and resilience needed to push through challenging moments. Setting specific, actionable goals and visualizing success can similarly help you to stay motivated and overcome anxiety.

Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Incorporating mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga, helped me manage anxiety symptoms before and during the exam. These practices can center your mind, reduce stress levels, and improve concentration, allowing you to approach the test with a calm and focused demeanor.

Simulate Test Conditions

Regularly practicing under simulated test conditions — timed sessions, using official test materials, and mimicking the exam environment — can also significantly reduce test-day anxiety. Familiarity breeds confidence, and by making the practice conditions as close to the actual test as possible, you will desensitize yourself to the pressures of exam day.

Embrace a Growth Mindset

Lastly, adopting a growth mindset — the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work — empowered me to view each practice session and every mock exam as an opportunity to grow and improve. This mindset shift can be pivotal in overcoming your test anxiety and achieving your goals.

Learn from a Tutor

Learning from a tutor who has scored high themselves and who has taught other students to score well can make a dramatic difference. You can shortcut the path to success by learning strategies from someone who has done it themself. While it is possible to self-study through books, many students learn best in group classes or through 1-on-1 tutoring. Tutors teach you strategies for success not only for the content of standardized tests, but also for reducing your test anxiety. This is what my company, Prep Expert, specializes in: providing the most effective test preparation courses with the best guarantees and instructors.

Conclusion

Overcoming test anxiety and excelling in standardized exams is a multifaceted process that involves more than just mastering the test content. It requires a holistic approach that includes developing efficient study habits, managing stress and health, minimizing distractions, and fostering a positive and motivated mindset. By implementing these strategies, you can transform your approach to testing and learning, ultimately achieving success beyond your SAT scores. I encourage all students facing similar challenges to embrace these strategies, persevere, and unlock their full potential on standardized exams and beyond.

You may also enjoy reading 5 Ways to Help College Students Who Struggle with Anxiety, by Carol Duke.

The post How I Overcame Test Anxiety and Actionable Strategies High School Students Can Use to Ace Standardized Exams appeared first on BEST SELF.

Bringing mindfulness into schools transforms learning while empowering children with life skills to break cycles of poverty, violence and despair.

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I hear this over and over with greater frequency these days: “What’s happening in our schools?” 

The unfortunate reality is that the answer to that question has broadened beyond the issues of declining grades, the achievement gap, and high teacher turnover to now including increased school violence, skyrocketing rates of teen suicide, bullying, and substance abuse. 

So what’s next and how do we respond?

The sense of frustration and despair that underlies these trends is what inspired me, and my lifelong friend Janice Houlihan, to create Inner Explorer — a guided mindfulness program designed for children and schools from PreK-12. 

As mothers of young boys, we created the program because we recognized that helping kids develop mindfulness skills early in life would be a game changer for them.

While it may not stop the negative influences of the outside world, it would give them the tools and habits of mind to navigate these challenges with greater ease. 

We know we can positively influence and amplify the potential of an entire generation of children by making healthy cognitive development the norm, not the exception. That’s why we created this non-profit organization in 2011 to help kids see more clearly, to better understand themselves and their potential, and to move into the world with compassion, creativity and confidence. These skills are best developed as a result of repeated inward focus and the exploration of the self because these are the strengths that emerge from within. 

Prior to Inner Explorer, I had been practicing mindfulness since 1995 and had integrated it with great success as a daily routine with my team at GE Healthcare in the early 2000’s. We experienced how this simple practice can transform our outlook, stop anxiety, lessen depression and suicide ideation, and elevate feelings of hope and compassion. It was amazing to experience and to witness! 

Considering the mountain of research proving mindfulness improves brain function, emotional regulation, and performance — for athletes to corporate executives to students — it became clear to me that we need this programming in every school to reach kids in their formative years.

Every adult I talked to about mindfulness said the same thing: “I wish I had learned these skills as a child.” So what if instead of wishing, we took that wisdom and did something about it?

Just imagine what life could look like if these ‘life skills’ were incorporated to curriculum and considered as vital as academic ones.

We know the root issue for most kids’ poor outcomes is chronic stress. While a little stress is healthy, constant stress becomes toxic to both the body and the brain. Stress activates the limbic system — our fight-or-flight center — and inhibits the prefrontal cortex (PFC), where executive functions such as critical thought, creativity, and learning happen. 

When stressed, students physiologically cannot absorb new ideas or lessons because the prefrontal cortex is ‘off line’.

Whether kids are dealing with poverty, a difficult home life, or anxiety about testing and other school pressures, stress is stress and has a debilitating effect on a student’s ability to learn. This toxic level of stress has created an unbelievably challenging environment for teachers, students, and families. 

Think about trying to successfully educate kids when 40% more teens are killing themselves, 85% say they are significantly stressed, and 51% now live in poverty. It’s no wonder the U.S. ranks 38th in Math and 24th in Science compared to our global counterparts. Even worse, 16% of students don’t even graduate from high school. This startling statistic rises to upwards of 30% for students in urban school districts.

We need to change these trajectories or risk perpetuating the growing income gap by failing another generation of children. 

Mixed with a sense of urgency and hope, I left GE to figure out how to incorporate mindfulness into schools. I trained at UMASS Center for Mindfulness to become a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) trainer and then went back to graduate school to learn how to adapt and evaluate mindfulness programming for kids.

This is where Inner Explorer comes into the picture. Mindfulness-based programs have been shown to reduce symptoms of stress, and mental health disorders, while improving attention, cognition, well-being, and sleep quality. Mindfulness programs have gained momentum in education over the past 15 years because they address the root causes of school failure by enhancing the brain networks associated with learning. 

When mindfulness is practiced in the classroom, students become ‘ready to learn’ and teachers become ‘ready to teach’.

Before Inner Explorer, the majority of mindfulness programs for the classroom fell into two models: Outside trainers delivering the training to students, or existing classroom teachers becoming proficient so they could deliver the training directly.  Although both models work, they can be difficult to sustain due to cost, scheduling conflicts, training time and staff turnover. As a result, a 5- to 10-minute daily practice — a critical element of the program’s success — is almost always abandoned once the ‘trainer’ leaves because classroom teachers and students are often uncomfortable leading this length of practice themselves.

Inner Explorer has grown quickly — from 3 to 3,100 schools serving more than 800,000 students — because it makes daily mindfulness practice easy and accessible to every classroom and every family. It can support the teacher training model above, since the sequence of audio-guided practices ‘teach’ students and teachers simultaneously as they listen together. It’s simple for teachers to implement because they can easily log in and press the ‘play’ button. It requires no training or changes to the planned curriculum. Families can even listen at home or work to the same practice that their child hears in school.

Our goal was to make sure that teachers had everything they needed to bring daily mindfulness into the classroom as soon as possible.

Our solution was simple in concept but took a great deal of development to bring it to life. 

We created four age-appropriate series covering preschool to high school, each with 90 audio-guided daily practices, along with several shorter transition practices. Teachers also have access to a full tool kit of additional information and research to support their efforts in the classroom. We have recently added several new narrators, a Spanish language version of the program, as well as a dedicated Test Taking series, which adds another layer to the regular daily practice.

Our program has been a quantifiable success.

In three separate, peer-reviewed studies, our mindfulness practices have been proven to effectively reduce stress by 43%, bring behavioral issues down by nearly 60%, and improve grades in key subject areas by more than 10%. 

Today, Inner Explorer is working to expand into more schools and to increase daily practice within those schools. As a non-profit, we are seeking help not only in terms of foundation and donor funding, but also from parents and grandparents sharing our information with their networks of friends to help build awareness and support. 

While there are many programs that address symptoms, very few get to the cause. As an example, administrators respond to school violence with more metal detectors, locker searches, and active shooter drills. Although those things may make some people feel safer, they certainly do not get to the root of why people want to bring a weapon into a school in the first place. 

Our mission at Inner Explorer is to help every child…

…the potential shooter and the targets, the bully and bullied, the loners and the popular students, the anxiety-ridden top students and frustrated and disconnected bottom students. When they discover their truest self through these daily mindfulness practices, the external labels begin to fall away. That is when who they really are starts to show up. 

The passion, the potential, the excitement — it’s all in there; mindfulness simply provides a path for kids to find it. We are committed to the daily practice of mindfulness because we know it will strengthen critical brain networks associated with learning while bolstering the skills necessary to face adversity and trauma with compassion and resilience. This is how we equip today’s children with the tools they need to break the cycles of poverty, violence and despair in one generation.

It sounds like a lofty goal, but Inner Explorer is committed to changing the world, one student at a time.

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Explore Mindful Test-Taking Practices Here

Experience Sample Mindfulness Practices Below:

You may also enjoy reading The School Nutrition Dilemma: An Insider Speaks Out by Tim Cipriano

The post Mindfulness in the Classroom: Learning from the Inside Out appeared first on BEST SELF.

Through Kids For Peace, youth are driving a global movement of consciousness and kindness, pairing compassion with action

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I admit: I am biased. 

I have been a fan of the organization profiled this month since it was created in 2006 by a high school honors student (Danielle Gram) and a former elementary school teacher/mother of two (Jill McManigal — my sister!) who bonded at a neighborhood gathering over a peace sign button on Jill’s lapel. What started organically as a small group of kids wanting to make our world a better place, has grown into an interconnected network of young peacebuilders worldwide.

Read on to see why I am so proud to showcase, what I trust you will agree, is one special organization worthy of our attention and support.

All the best,

— Joy McManigal, Youth Editor, Best Self Magazine

Imagine a small team of big-hearted and tenacious individuals sitting around a kitchen table working their magic to inspire 500 million acts of kindness, build schools and playgrounds in ravaged communities around the world, activate a critical mass of people to shift global consciousness, while overseeing 450 chapters in 121 countries on 6 continents. And did I mention that they also managed to break a Guinness Book of World Record? Phew!

This is the world of Kids for Peace, a global 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Carlsbad, California. In true grassroots fashion, all this amazing work is done by mostly volunteers who share one unifying goal: to uplift our world through love and action. 

Kids for Peace programs and events provide a platform for young people to create peace through youth leadership, community service, arts, environmental stewardship, global friendships, and thoughtful acts of kindness. By sparking the innate talents, dreams, and passions of young people, Kids for Peace serves as a model and inspiration for creating this reality, not only for today, but for the generations to come. 

At the heart of all Kids for Peace activities is their kid-created Peace Pledge: 

I pledge to use my words to speak in a kind way.
I pledge to help others as I go throughout my day.
I pledge to care for our earth with my healing heart and hands. 

I pledge to respect people in each and every land.
I pledge to join together as we unite the big and small.
I pledge to do my part to create PEACE for one and all. 

What’s not to love about all that?!

The signature program of Kids for Peace is The Great Kindness Challenge (TGKC) — a grassroots movement to cultivate kindness in our schools, families, communities, and world with a motto that says it all: KINDNESS MATTERS (because it does!)

Working with schools and Kids for Peace chapters around the world, TGKC is a positive and proactive bullying prevention initiative for Pre K-12 schools. At the heart of week-long program is the belief that kindness is a strength that creates a win/win dynamic for both the giver and the receiver. By providing a checklist of suggested acts of kindness, students have the opportunity to repeat kind act after kind act. 

As kindness becomes a habit, peace becomes possible.

How this uplifting program came to be can be traced back to 2011 when the elementary school that Jill’s children attended asked her to help create a more positive, unified, and respectful school environment. As a result, TGKC was designed and piloted with three Carlsbad, California schools. Because of their innovative approach and wildly successful results, word spread — and a kindness movement was born. 

Last year, 10 million students performed 500 million acts of kindness in 100 countries. This year, 13 million students in 24,000 schools in 113 countries inspired over 650 million acts of kindness. Pretty impressive numbers for a group that still works around a kitchen table! ABC’s Good Morning America thought so, which is why they have repeatedly showcased The Great Kindness Challenge.

Another impressive Kids for Peace undertaking is the Kind Coins Campaign — a service initiative to empower youth to become global citizens and compassionate philanthropists. Working with Kids for Peace chapters and schools, coins are collected to help build schools and playgrounds for communities in need. 

To date, the campaigns include:

• Kinds Coins for Kenya — 148 U.S. schools raised $80,000 to build a Kids for Peace school in the remote village of Mikei, Kenya. Several groups of Kids for Peace volunteers have also traveled to Kenya to build the school and an infirmary, as well as replenish supplies and make new friends.
• Kind Coins for Pakistan — Money was raised from 157 schools to build a new school and peace center in Loralai, Pakistan. 
• Kind Coins for Liberia — Money is currently being raised to help build a health clinic in Paynesville, Liberia, a village devastated by the Ebola crisis.
• Kind Coins for Disaster Relief — 80,000+ students from 200+ schools raised money to build 4 new playgrounds at schools in hurricane-impacted communities in Texas, Puerto Rico, and Florida, with one more to be built in Paradise, California. Hasbro, Inc., through its BE FEARLESS BE KIND philanthropic initiative, matched $100,000 of the funds raised, a reminder that everybody has a role to play in creating a kinder world.
• Kind Cards for Paradise — $13,535 was recently raised to help an elementary school in Paradise, California recover from the fires that destroyed their community.

Inspired by social media’s power for good, Kids for Peace sponsored #DoItForPeace — an online experiment to shift global consciousness. The premise is simple: start with a group of 1,000 ignitors who do one act of peace and then share it on social media, inviting 5 friends to do the same. The scope and impact of this week-long viral movement is still being felt worldwide. Some people posted peace sign selfies, but some people chose to go big (check out the surfboard peace sign and first ever free-fall skydive peace sign!). 

A Kids for Peace event that always brings smiles to those lucky enough to attend is the annual party to celebrate a Peace Hero — a well-recognized role model who lives by the words of the Peace Pledge and inspires people to be their best self. Chosen by the Kids for Peace chapters, Peace Hero honorees include: Jason Mraz, Ellen DeGeneres, Stedman Graham, Ben Harper, Susan Sarandon, Tony Hawk, Rob Machado, Frances Fisher, RJ Palacio, and Jane Goodall.

Taking the message of peace on the road is another way Kids for Peace spreads the love. Every couple of years, Kids for Peace organizes a Peace Pledge Tour — a chance for youth from across the globe to join together for an inspiring trip focused on leadership training, community service, and peace-building activities. Past tours included trips to New York City, Washington DC, and Kansas.

Last year, an intrepid group of kids and adults went on The Kindness Matters Bus Tour — a coast-to-coast event that kicked off in New York City at Times Square before traveling to Philadelphia, Washington DC, North Carolina, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, and finally wrapping up in California. Along the way, the volunteers spread smiles as they performed 50 acts of kindness while riding in style in their snazzy bus.

Impressed yet? Well there’s more!

Kids for Peace has interviewed celebrities on the Red Carpet at the Emmy’s, published 4 books written and illustrated by youth from around the world, and hand-delivered over 10,000 Peace Packs filled with school supplies to children in need. 

They are also included in the Guinness Book of World Records for creating the largest collage of cut-out handprints. This galvanizing action occurred during the 2015 Great Kindness Challenge when over 180,000 students each decorated one handprint to symbolize their commitment to kindness. Together, they created 104,108 kind-hearted handprints to brighten the spirits of patients and their families at the Dignity Health Glendale Memorial Hospital in California. A world record was broken with an inspirational and creative act of kindness — another wonderful example of Kids for Peace in action.

So, the next time you start to lose faith in the future, think about Kids for Peace and all the amazing ways young people are uplifting our world through love and action… and heartfelt acts of kindness. 

—

For more information, please visit kidsforpeaceglobal.org | thegreatkindnesschallenge.com

You may also enjoy reading The C4 Way: Empowering Youth To Be Their Best Selves by Joy McManigal

The post Kids For Peace: How a Youth Grassroots Movement Is Shifting Global Consciousness appeared first on BEST SELF.

Estimated reading time: 16 minutes

There actually is a formula for living a good life — and empowering youth with a recipe that combines character, choice connection and contribution.

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Young people today are standing up and demanding to be heard as they fight the good fight. By channeling their anger and hopes in proactive and powerful ways, they are showing us how to celebrate and embrace our differences by reminding us how much we have in common — and how much is at stake. We have so much to teach each other, and so much to learn.

I love the energy and optimism of young people. I believe in their potential to create lasting and meaningful change, in their own lives as well as in the world at large. As a parent, teacher, coach, advisor and friend, I have devoted much of my life to empowering and equipping youth, our future global citizens. If not them, who?

After 20+ years as a mother to four daughters on four different life paths, I have come to realize that raising children with a sense of purpose and direction is a lifelong journey. One of my daughters recently told me she considers me ‘a painstakingly good-intentioned optimist’. Hints of cynicism aside, I embrace my glass-half-full worldview. I want my kids to thrive; I want your kids (or future kids) to thrive.

As a parent and as an editor, I see my role as a channel — a conduit for insights, information, and inspiration. Although the articles featured in this section will focus on youth, they are designed to benefit anyone of any age who wants to explore the best ways to be the best YOU (aka: your Best Self).

I hope you agree.

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The C4 Way

Empowering Youth To Be Their Best (Courageous, Compassionate, Curious, Clear) Selves

All photographs courtesy of World Merit, a C4 Way partner

Dear Hope For The Future,

I have a very clear mission: to help you live a good life as a good person. Given the ambitious scope of this goal, I created a 4-step plan to provide a clear path on your good life journey. I call this roadmap The C4 Way.

The C4 Way Plan:

• Step 1 — CHARACTER: Good Life Values
• Step 2 — CHOICES: Good Life Mission
• Step 3 — CONNECTIONS: Good Life Goals
• Step 4 — CONTRIBUTIONS: Good Life Actions

Step One asks you to ponder: Who am I now and who do I want to become? How you answer that soul-searching question is a reflection of your CHARACTER — the collection of mental and moral qualities that shape who you are. Good character connects good actions with good VALUES — the fundamental beliefs and principles that guide your moral compass.

The C4 Way focuses on cultivating 4 core values:

• COURAGE — Be brave + gritty
• COMPASSION — Be kind + forgiving
• CURIOSITY — Be interested + engaged
• CLARITY — Be pithy + honest

The rest of this article will explore these core values.

Courage

I love The Wizard of Oz. Although Dorothy is my go-to gal, I have always had a soft spot for the Cowardly Lion and his dopey swagger and false bravado. While his traveling companions’ wishes were clear-cut — a brain and heart and home — his wish was much more nebulous: COURAGE — what it takes to confront your fears. 

Life is filled with things that make us afraid or insecure — nasty and intrusive things that tend to smother our good intentions like sludge. It might be something lofty like a fear of failure (or success), or something mundane like a fear of public speaking or snakes (my personal bugaboo). Chances are that fear is wrapped around every obstacle that stands between you and your goals. What evokes your fear is not the important issue; what you do with it is.

What I learned from the Lion’s journey to Oz is that being courageous means being brave enough to be vulnerable. It means taking risks and standing up for what you believe, even if you might be perceived as wrong or different — or attacked by flying monkeys.

This vulnerability can take the form of supporting an underdog candidate, rocking a crazy hairstyle, or backing an unpopular idea. People might not agree with you, but they are likely to respect the courage it took for you to speak up or act in support of your convictions. It takes courage to not allow excuses to latch on and keep you invested in behaviors or thoughts that no longer serve you well.

Let’s say you always wanted to play the piano, but never pursued it because you believed you would never be good enough to justify the time and expense to take lessons. Instead of yielding to your fear of failure, tap into your inner well of courage and find a piano teacher that inspires you to practice and become the pianist you always wanted to be. You might never end up playing at Carnegie Hall, but at least you won’t have to live with a sense of regret born from paralyzing fear.

Courage also means having the confidence to pursue a dream — even when logically it makes no sense.

This was my situation when I decided at 23 to buy a pub in Ireland. I had several strikes against me aside from being in a foreign country: (1) I come from a family of teetotalers (until my generation at least); (2) I had never bought property or run a business; and (3) I didn’t have any money.

Most people would have seen this as three-strikes-you’re-out situation, but I was determined to find a way around these obstacles. As crazy as the idea seemed (to everyone), it also felt right (to me). So I made a choice not to listen to the practical and protective advice of the naysayers. Instead, I trusted my intuition and guess what happened? I bought a pub in Ireland.

This story illustrates another one of my favorite non-C virtues: GRIT — that great combo package of courage and perseverance. Are you willing to stick to something — a task, project, goal, a dream no matter how lofty — despite resistance or obstacles in your way? That’s grit.

Ask any successful athlete/musician/inventor how they got where they are and they will likely tell you about the countless hours they spent practicing. When their friends were hanging out or binge watching on Netflix, they were at the court/field/studio/lab doing whatever they could to succeed, over and over again.

Grit reminds us that as much as innate talent and aptitude matters, effort and dedication matters more.

Ask any successful coach whom she would rather have on her team: an athlete that is wildly skilled but lazy — or one that is less skilled but whole-heartedly committed to getting better for the sake of her team. No brainer. As anyone who has seen the film RUDY will tell you, hard work and a positive attitude will ultimately be rewarded. Yes, talent matters, but demonstrated courage matters more in the long run.

The same goes for college admissions and employers as well. Schools are looking for more than just perfect grades and test scores; they want to see examples of gritty effort. Why? Because when school (or a job or just life) gets stressful (which it will), they want to know that a prospective student won’t crumble under pressure. They want to know that students can handle adversity and disappointments without giving up and blaming others for their failures. They want students that will keep on keeping on. They want to see courage in action. Calling all innovators, dreamers, out-of-the-box thinkers and visionaries.

Compassion

We all can agree that courage rocks, but so does COMPASSION — the fuel that propels your desire to help people.

Compassion has been described as having a kind mind. I like to think of it as looking at the world with soft eyes and a gentle soul. It manifests as concern for the well being of others, their trials and tribulations, their ups and downs. It means treating people (and that means you, too) with kindness and consideration. Genuine compassion stems from respect — respect for the opinions and circumstances of someone else, whether or not you agree with them. It is this kind of sympathetic understanding that can transform combative situations into collaborative opportunities. Compassion creates conversation.

A simple way to learn how to be more compassionate is to practice walking in someone else’s shoes to see things from their perspective.

You don’t have to actually feel what someone is feeling (that is empathy), but if you want to understand why they do what they do, try to be sensitive to where they are coming from and what they are going through.

I learned to do this in the 6^th grade. My school held an election that recreated the nominating and primary process of the recent presidential campaign. Long story short, I was the Republican candidate (Nixon) and I won (no comment). Unfortunately, my victory celebration was cut short by an assassination attempt. Really.

By way of backstory, my elementary school was for kids with high IQs.

One of the most valuable things I learned at this school is that being good on tests doesn’t mean you are good at life.

This was particularly true for Chris, the kid in our class who spent most of his time recreating Hitler’s blitzkrieg invasion of Europe. Glaring red flags aside, it seems that Chris was not a fan of Nixon; by extension, that meant I had to go.

So at high noon the day after the election, while we were both standing in line for the pencil sharpener, Chris tried to stab me in the neck. Fortunately, he was short and I was tall. The height differential, coupled with some quick reflexes, resulted in my hand absorbing the lead intended for my head. I was fine; he was hauled away. Crisis averted.

I never saw Chris again after his failed mission. I am reminded of our encounter, however, every time I notice the small remnant of lead that remains in my right palm. To me, this little piece of pencil symbolizes the healing power of letting go. In this case, that meant letting go of any feelings of anger or resentment about being on the receiving end of some twisted behavior.

To this day, I couldn’t tell you why Chris actually did what he did. I never learned what happened to him in his early childhood that created his inner demons, and I never retraced his footsteps while walking in his shoes. I did realize something important, however: None of those things were really about me; I just happened to be the wrong candidate at the wrong time in the wrong place.

My biggest takeaway from this unfortunate foray in presidential politics (besides never to emulate Nixon) involves FORGIVENESS — compassion in action with a twist of mercy. I forgave Chris for what he did. I couldn’t tell you if this helped him, but I can assure you it definitely helped me.

Life Lesson: Forgive yourself and others — for whatever. Just let it go.

Why? Because it feels good to release what no longer serves you. It feels lighter and cleaner. It makes space for new thoughts and feelings. Fresh starts for all. To forgive does not mean to forget. Stuff happens for a reason, so try to learn from the past. That way the bad stuff has served a higher purpose and the good stuff has given you some wonderful reasons to be in gratitude.

Curiosity

What is it that drives you to explore a new idea or concept? What is it that compels you to look something up on Google or in a book, or ponder travelling to a place you’ve never been?

That thing is CURIOSITY — the desire to learn and explore all you can, all the time.

Curiosity is the calmer, gentler version of passion. Both involve a spark of desire to discover more about yourself and your world. Unlike passion, which can be all consuming, curiosity is a form of engagement that can easily be broken into bite-size pieces to savor over time. To be clear, however, curiosity is not the same as prying.

To find your passion, start by following what piques your curiosity. What do you find intriguing or interesting enough to learn more about?

What makes you perk up your ears and pay close attention in a conversation? This is what curiosity looks like. Pay attention because these are the signs that will guide you on your path of awareness and life learning.

Curiosity can manifest in many beneficial ways. It can ward off boredom, like garlic to a vampire. It can nudge you to leave your comfort zone to connect to new people and ideas. It is also the cornerstone of a good conversation; without it, no new information gets in and no fresh air passes through the give and take of dialogue. It can start with something as simple as showing an interest and a sincere desire to explore what someone cares about. You hear someone mention their cat; ask them about their cat. You see someone wearing a concert t-shirt; ask them about the concert. It’s not rocket science, just curiosity in action.

As a kid, I loved to read mysteries. Encyclopedia Brown, Sherlock Holmes, Hercules Poirot, Miss Marple — they were all my trusted companions. But my literary BFF was Nancy Drew. I spent so much time in Nancy’s world that it felt like Bess and George were my best friends, Mrs. Gruen was my housekeeper, Ned Nickerson was my boyfriend, and a zippy Roadster was my car of choice.

As much as I admired Nancy’s home life and circle of friends, what I was really drawn to was her curiosity. Despite her young age, she already knew so much about so many things — and she was always eager to learn more. She was observant. She was tenacious. She was undaunted. Curiosity may have killed a cat, but it was the fuel that propelled Nancy into situations that more practical (or fearful) teenagers would have avoided. It’s no wonder that Nancy Drew is still a favorite of feminists of all ages.

Want to cultivate curiosity in your own life? Be a detective like my beloved Nancy. Start with a kernel of an interest and see where your discovery takes you. It doesn’t matter if your interest is fleeting or prolonged, obscure or trending with the masses. It can be a shared interest that helps you forge a bond with someone, or it can be a personal interest that you want to keep private. The important point is to find something that inspires you to think and explore.

The Internet is your friend when it comes to cultivating your curiosity. Unlike when I was a kid and had to pore through encyclopedias or card catalogs at the local library, today you can type a few words into your Internet browser and a whole new world awaits. Armchair exploration for all!

Want to spark your curiosity? Embrace your creativity and utilize your imagination.

Stare at a blank piece of paper until you get the urge to write down or draw what comes to you. Or pick up that book that you’ve been meaning to read and actually read it. Look up words you don’t understand. Wrestle with concepts that are challenging or difficult to embrace. No pressure to find the ‘right’ answer or solution. Just allow your mind to wander while you are tapping into your wonder lust.

Curiosity is your golden ticket to a good life. Without it, your brain can’t think expansively and your soul can’t breathe deeply. Without it you miss out on meeting interesting people and exploring unusual opportunities. Treasure it. Use it.

Clarity

The 4^th and final core value might seem like an unlikely choice, but it’s essential. It encourages you to ask for what you want and reminds you that people are not mind readers; they are not going to know what you want (or don’t want) if you don’t tell them. What is this value that I find so important?

It’s CLARITY — a clear and direct way to communicate with your self and others.

The words you send out into the world are your Best Self ambassadors.

They represent you and set the tone for your interactions in the world. One way to think of this virtue is to imagine that you are painting a picture with your words. My suggestion: opt for creating a still life or a portrait, not an abstract!

Clarity and brevity are the unsung heroes of good communication. When in doubt, opt for less not more. Get to the point. Cut out the fluff and filler and focus on what you are really trying to say. Don’t make people guess at what you are trying to communicate. Instead, say what you mean in the simplest, most direct way possible. This applies to verbal and written conversations. If someone wants more details they can ask for them. Otherwise, assume people have short attention spans and busy schedules, so use their time (and your words) wisely.

To be clear, I am not advocating brutal honesty. When someone feels threatened or disrespected, they aren’t going to hear what you meant to say. Instead, they are likely going to shut down and tune you out once they hear words that seem harsh or unkind. So speak truth to power — but speak with kindness and diplomacy so that your words will actually be heard and create impact.

A side benefit of clarity is that it inspires honesty — with yourself and others.

Being honest means honoring your truth, whatever that may be. And as Mark Twain knew so well, telling the truth is easier in the long run because you don’t have to remember what you said.

Clarity also encourages integrity, in particular integrity with your words. Be clear and accountable so that you say only what you actually intend to do. For example, don’t say ‘yes, we should do lunch’ if you really have no intention of having lunch with that person. Better to be clear now rather than have to cover your tracks later.

Developing a reputation as an honest and trustworthy person is priceless. Which brings me to a cardinal rule: Avoid the temptation to tell white lies. These seemingly harmless little fibs are the gateway drug to a full-blown addiction to dishonesty. You might think a little falsehood won’t matter, but eventually the truth will come out. It always does.

“Of course I love raw quail egg sushi!” This was a white lie that I once told in order to impress my sophisticated foodie friend. The fact that I had never tried sushi, let alone a raw quail egg, didn’t stop me from lying in order to appear worldly and adventurous. Actually slurping that raw egg is a memory that still makes me squeamish, as much for the slimy sensation as for the memory of succumbing to a silly and unnecessary lie.

Check yourself and your words. Trust yourself to speak your truth in a clear and concise manner, even if your truth is unpopular or challenging. And remember that it’s ok to say, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.” If you can add…”but I’m willing to try,” all the better.

Your character does not need to be defined by your past. You can change it. You can mold it. You can determine how it manifests in the world.

It’s a big deal and it’s something that you can totally control. So if you want to be regarded — by yourself and others — as someone with good character, embrace values that help you attract and generate good. It really is that simple.

My hope for you is that the next time you ask, “Who am I?” your answer will be: “I am someone who chooses courage over fear, compassion over judgment, curiosity over apathy, and clarity over confusion.” In other words, you are someone on the path to becoming your best self…

You may also enjoy reading Kids For Peace: How a Youth Grassroots Movement Is Shifting Global Consciousness by Joy McManigal

The post The C4 Way: Empowering Youth To Be Their Best Selves appeared first on BEST SELF.

A little heroine empowers girls to be both fierce and feeling

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My goal for I Am a Warrior Goddess (Sounds True, on sale February 6, 2018) is to empower young girls to see their divine potential and innate power. By following our little heroine throughout her day, the book teaches children important principles. Children will see self-care modeled — taking care of their bodies, filling their minds with good books, and even getting a good night’s rest. And they will see how to love and care for and connect with the Earth. Our little warrior goddess says good morning to the sun and runs with the wind; in one of my favorite illustrations she kisses a flower goodnight.

At the heart of this book is a message of kindness — that kindness is powerful. Now more than ever, we need to teach our girls that they are strong. And we need to teach our children to care for each other, to stand up for those who are weak or in need, and to do that coming from a place of strength and love. I Am a Warrior Goddess combines big aspirations (such as “I am a defender of the weak”) with small, daily actions (such as rescuing a kitten from a tree) to show how each of us can make the world better, one small act of kindness at a time.

Watch the book trailer:

You may also enjoy reading ALPHABREATHS: The ABC’s of Mindful Breathing For Kids by Christopher Willard

The post I Am a Warrior Goddess: Empowering Girls to Be Both Fierce and Feeling appeared first on BEST SELF.